Today (June 23 , 2021) marks a full six months since my last chemo treatment. I find it incredible.
I feel amazing. It sometimes feels like it was another person, another life, when I reflect on what happened last year.
My goal was that cancer didn’t take anything from me. And it didn’t. I had a few weeks where I felt truly enlightened that I would lead a better life thanks to the insights of being so very unwell. I truly believed that I would find the Nirvana of balance! They were nice weeks, but actually, I have reverted back to the life I had before. Of working too hard and constantly battling to have balance. Of loving my job. Of loving my life…
Perspective
On an anniversary like today, I feel deep joy and gratitude that my cancery detour showed me how amazing the people in my life are; showed my strength and positivity; and taught me what really matters. I have wonderful friends, family and colleagues who showed me such friendship and support.
So yes, I am back on the hamster wheel (currently with a second interim role as acting head of branding for Siemens overall), so the wheel is spinning fast. But now, when ever I feel very frustrated or anxious about something, I do catch myself and can let it go, with something of a new perspective.
Tomorrow, I have a call with a journalist as I will feature in Siemens Healthineers to feature in their Breast Cancer awareness campaign in October. I am so excited to be able to contribute to something so important.
Once more, if you are reading this and haven’t had a check up that you should have, please pick up the phone to book it. Catching it early made my cancery tale one with a happy ending xxx
Post script:
I know it’s only hair…
There is one caveat – and I need to share it for anyone else looking for guidance. Losing your hair is rubbish. And then having to deal with it growing back soooooooo slowly and looking in the mirror at various stages of short is really hard.
I don’t think you could imagine unless you’ve been there. Yes – it gets longer every day. Yes – it is better than being bald. Yes – it isn’t as bad as chemo. But it’s hard. I feel back to being me, but I am reminded every time I see myself in the mirror (or more often on a Teams call) that I was ill. And I have to wait for probably another year before I look in the mirror to see the me I would like to see. I am just getting on with it and I do appreciate everyone telling me short hair suits me, but I just don’t like it.
I finally said goodbye to Wigley in April – she was amazing, but it got to the point where I couldn’t remember which calls I had a wig on, which when it was off… quite liberating, but I miss that ‘comfort blanket’! Looking for the positive, it ensures that I have to lose any vanity I may have had!
Silver Linings 